Ah good advice, just what I need.

Got unhooked today. At the clinic, I was actually asleep in the easy chair waiting my turn when the alarm on my pump started singing. I looked down and it just said "empty". Since it's not a self service clinic I wondered what response I would get if I playfully yelled, "hey, fill up on pump 45" I was really that close to doing it and now I think I missed a golden opportunity. Oh well there is always a next time.

I enjoyed a trip up to WWHS today and it was such a fun time to see every one's smiling faces. I thought it was because I was visiting but I realized it was because of exams and the kids were gone! Happy Birthday Barb! We had a wonderful time at dinner. Great food, and fantastic company who love you, what a winning combination.

Well watch out, I've been reading again. I will say, reading is the one thing that I am now trying to do more of than I used to. I went looking for some words of wisdom surrounding my 2 key issues about all this. One is that this is all so sudden and so negative, and the other is that it is all so uncertain and open ended. And so, just how in the heck do I deal with it all. I picked up one of the books someone had given me and as I was chapter hunting, I noticed that HOPE word again. I like that word because I can deal with it and I believe in it. I read this small paragraph talking about the negative feelings and the down sides in a way that I said..."hey I like that". It's nice to read that you are doing something considered "the right way". The book simply, in a very honest way, matched a good thing with the obvious bad things. And since the bad things are right out there, you simply need to associate the right good thing so that your focus is aligned more toward the good parts. Simply put, here is what I got out of it. My everyday efforts have to be to use my humor, attitude, support system and everything I have that is ME, to find out, first, how to show and use my strengths while I'm basically very weak, second, how to find and enjoy peace when I'm in the middle of this turmoil, then figure out how to feel quiet joy and peace while facing the sadness and shock of all this and then last, in the midst of all that, how do you see and feel God's protection and compassion in the middle of Life's cruelty and unfairness. Sounds like a big task but I can tell you, that as i sit here each night so far, I am honestly finding it a very doable task. With help of course. The first level of help is the smart dude that put those words down in a book for others to read and the rest of the help is all of you who continue to encourage and strengthen me every day. You are loved. Opps, I must make a correction too, when I closed the book I noticed it's not a dude but a dudette that wrote those wise words. Proud of me Carrie?

Well I'm drug free until round 4 of the Chemo on Jan 29th, with a lot of fun things planned in between. I will tell you honestly that I wish I was writing all this in month 9 or 10 instead of just month 2. That is one of the hardest things for me to get used to is the timing. Very crummy timing, and I feel like it's been months already. Snow, I need snow, so let's all wish for snow!! God Bless you all, and everyone have a fantastic 3 day weekend and enjoy "Arthur Martha's Birthday" ( That was laura's first try at why she didn't have to go to school that day, I think she was about 6, ha ha)