There sure is a lot to learn.

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about my "Path". In addition I went internet surfing along the path for more information. I started with the actual definition of "Cancer". It was simple enough to understand, "Cancer develops when cells in the body begin to grow out of control." Out of control, those are words often used around me but in a more playful and complimentary way, thank goodness. "Normal cells grow, divide, and die. Instead of dying, cancer cells continue to grow and form new abnormal cells." Again, not very complicated. A pretty simple process. I must admit that "Normal" is not a word used around me very much. "Cancer cells often travel to other body parts where they grow and replace normal tissue. This process, called metastasis, occurs as the cancer cells get into the bloodstream or lymph vessels." This was a part I never paid much attention to. It is the part where it seems that luck, good or bad, or fate comes in. The part we can't really do anything about. It is the part that gives us the stages of Cancer. Thus, since mine has spread to my Lymph system, I get to be Stage 4. "Cancer cells develop because of damage to DNA. DNA is in every cell and directs all its activities. When DNA becomes damaged the body is able to repair it. In cancer cells, the damage is not repaired." It's as simple as that, yet the whole world studies, searches, and experiments to find a cure. It is somewhat ironic that a few summers ago I worked through a grant program with UC Medical Center, assisting lab technicians who were doing cancer research studying DNA taken from rodents. I learned then, just how much research and effort goes into that simple problem of "Damaged DNA" and how can it be fixed.

So now, when my doctor explains that because of my stage, I am not a candidate for surgery, or that her preferred care for me is a program that will make me as comfortable as possible for as long as possible, I guess it makes much more sense to me now. So here I am, in the middle of this path, a path filled with thousands of people facing the same thing. What is going to make me any different? Mmmmm good question. In the days to follow, as I write about my own path and what I find along the way, I'm sure I will begin to discover what makes me different. I think a few things are evident right now and more will surface. The first thing is that I am MOVING. I can't accept to have an illness and then just do nothing accept sit at home and wonder or worry what is next. So that's why it's a PATH, people don't sit on PATHS, they move along. So much is being done for me and thousands of others facing cancer, and most of it I can't be a part of. So, the next thing that is going to make me different is answering the question, "How much can I take part in my own cure or outcome?" I think this is where my PATH opens up and gets wider. I think this is where my attitude, my humor, my faith and my character all come in play. I honestly think that if I continue to move, I'll continue to learn. If I continue to move, I'll continue to grow, if I continue to move, I can help myself, all of you and others to learn. And as that happens, time moves too, good things happen, people smile, life goes forward. Yes, we still have to face everything on the path, the bad things too, but that is life. And for me, I choose life. A choice that I am convinced that I can only make with the help and support of all of you. That is the next thing that makes me different. YOU, each of you. Over and over I come to the realization of how lucky I am, how very blessed I am to have all of you along my PATH. You know who you are. You are loved! God bless you all.