And it still gets back to HOPE

Tomorrow is Chemo day again. Since last Monday there must have ben a few hundred reasons why not to think about all this and very few reasons to force me to. But as I sit here tonight, I find myself just HAPPY, happy for the Indianapolis Colts, happy for my son Steve, happy to have had a wonderful Super Bowl evening with my wife Cindy, happy to have had an exciting call from Nadine and her family in Germany, happy to have had a fun visit with Clio and Linnea, happy to have had a Friday evening with my good friend Rich, happy to hear from my cousin Patty who also suffered from Esophageal cancer years ago, happy for a visit from Ole, Chris and Eric, Theres, Sarah and Doug, and most of all happy that when people ask me how I'm doting, I can still say, "Pretty good". Sunday I received another thoughtful gift of HOPE, a small book of just that, HOPE. Readings of HOPE for all stages of the cancer process. I was so thankful. Because for me, it is HOPE that I can think about every day, every minute if I want. Between the things that make me HAPPY and the thoughts of HOPE, I have very little time left to sit and get into a funk over this mess. Can you see just how this works? Spending much of my time being thankful and happy, then spending most of the rest of the time hoping things keep happening to insure those happy times keep coming. this leaves little or no time for anger, worry, self pity, frustration, fear and all the rest of the garbage that wants to turn me in the wrong direction. Don't get me wrong, I know all those things are part of life and just ain't be eliminated, but by God they can be diminished to a level that they just don't matter. To a level that they just don'thave that much control over my path. Then what matters is the HOPE and the HAPPY parts. For me, God has blessed me with a flood of both. Cindy an I enjoyed each other a lot this weekend and had a lot of time to talk about all this and realize just how much we both agree on some of the most difficult parts of our future. One thing we do agree on is how HAPPY we can be on this path and how much we can HOPE for in what lies ahead. Tomorrow the path tightens a bit, but I just realized that I go into it with a new chain around my neck, a crucifix, a gift from my friend Morrie, a gift given because he HOPES for me. Gosh, this gets better all the time. Thank you all, I am so blessed, and you are so loved!