I just want everyone to know how important to me your support, love nd encouragement has been. These first seven weeks have been hard for all the Marcou Family and I honestly don't think we could have made it through this without all of you and the warmth and concern you shared. I am feeling better snce radiation is over and now I just wait for the next rounds of Chemo in January. I want to wish each and every one of you a very blessed and happy holiday season with those that you love and care for.

Have a very Merry Christmas
and a
Happy New year

You are all deeply loved, warmly thought of, truely appreciated and may God bless you all!

My best day ever!

What a great day Wednesday was. I pushed it, but it was worth it. I spent most of the day with Laura as we first went to my Radiation Graduation, yes, they even gave me a certificate of completion for my radiation treatments. I have to say that the folks at the clinic are some of the most compassionate and caring people I have ever experienced in the medical field. Now I wait for my third round of chemo on January 7. Okay, so then Laura and I went to lunch because I wanted to celebrate. White Castles was discussed but my more intelligent daughter re-directed that choice. Then we went and did a little shopping. After a good rest we all went to the WWHS Holiday Concert. As usual, it was a fantastic concert that I would have hated to miss. It always ends with alumni joining the choral groups and orchestra to sing the Alleluia Chorus. Laura and my favorite "T-Bones", who actually remembered how to play once they got the dust off their horns, all joined in. A treat for Cindy and I for sure.
Another terrific part of the day took place in the waiting room of the radiation clinic. It won't make much sense if I don't tell the story first. And you know how much I like to tell stories. A while back, Cindy was on line researching Esophegeal Cancer and found a wonderful support group web site. It was a national group of folks that either had the disease or were care givers. You simply signed on, provided limited details and could get tons of good nformation or even post questions. Cindy received a warm letter of welcome from the moderator and was encouraged to post more details and join the group. She did just that and a few days later after posting a few basic questions, revceived a beautiful email from a lady who's husband had very similar circumstances as me. Cindy was surprised at the similarity of our situations and wrote back right away. She didn't notice a return email for a few days but then noticed the woman had responded again. Cindy then shared a few more specific details such as living in Cincinnati. Well, the woman wrote back and was quite taken by the fact that they lived in Loveland. Cindy, of course, wrote back in glee and shared more specifics until we found out that he and I shared the same radiation clinic and doctor. At that point the story ends with us hoping that some day we would be able to meet them and share our experiences. Well now to the clinic waiting room yesterday. My radiation treatments were always in the morning at the same time but that day I had to change my time to the afternoon. As Laura and I are sitting there, I hear a couple talking to another lady about Esophegeal cancer and I of course just change seats and jump into the conversation since I have become so hungry for information lately. I mention to them that I too have the same condition. The woman looks at me and sees my WWHS shirt and with an amazed look on her face says, "If you tell me your name is Mike, I am going to faint". I immediately remembered Cindy's on line friend and looked at him and said, "No way, you can't be Burt?" Can you believe just how tiny our world is. It turns out it was his last day for radiation as well and our only opportunity that we would ever meet "by chance". We were all amazed and enjoyed chatting for a while as we created a new friendship from this incredible set of "small world" circumstances. Just amazing!
The best part of the day was after the concert, seeing so many young faces of kids I have not seen for a while and the warm embraces of friends that I miss. It made me realize just how much I miss that school community. What a treat to get out and enjoy them all. You are all loved, may God bless you all!

A major milestone day!

Yeh Ha! It is my last day of radiation treatments! I just thought I would find a picture of one of the machines so you could see how cool it is. No, that is not me in the picture. The idea is, you just lay there and the big thing rotates to zap you with the radiation from different angles. Pretty boring actually. Tonight I spent a while reading up on the medical details of the treatment so I could understand more of what it was doing other than just making me feel so bad. The good news is that is is helping and after a couple more rounds of Chemo, they will take some pictures and find out that medical science and one huge support system of prayers from all over the world were the winning combination. And of course my attitude, which I will tell you , I'm still trying to keep up, but it's getting harder. Tuesday, after radiation, Jim and I visited Foster's restaurant and had once again a wonderful breakfast and chat with my good friend Kevin Foster. Folks if you are ever out in the Blue Ash area, near the airport on Lake Forest Drive, or at the new Cincinnati Eye Institute on Alliance Dr., you have to take time to stop and have breakfast or lunch. A great place run by great folks. Today just reminded me what good friends are all about and how lucky I am to have so many loving and caring friends at a time like this. God Bless you all, you are loved!

Another wonderful day!

Right after writing my blog last night at around 4 am, my phone actually rang. I of course laid on the floor in the dark and answered it. It seems that Cindy had contacted one of my dearest long time friends, Gary Smith. Gary and I hadn't had a chance to communicate much since I attended his Air Force retirement ceremony a few years ago in San Marcos, Texas. Well, as it usually goes when two people make contact after a while, we quickly found out that both our lives have changed quite a bit in the past year or so. Gary is now the Pastor of a new church in San Marcos and doing well. He also let me know he has finally published his first book, "Letters from Boerdonk" I put the picture of the book here because one thing that makes the book unique is that the book is one of the first Christian book titles that actually, thanks to the beautiful work of artist Larry Weston, includes beautiful illustrations throughout the book, making it a wonderful art collectible as well. But I must speak of the content. I have been reading Gary's sermons whenever I could and he is a fantastic preacher, writer and story teller. Since knowing him when he was 18, I knew then he had a gift. A gift of blending the reality of life, his faith, the power of God's love and wonderful humor into a story, a sermon, a helpful chat or whatever he was delivering at the time. For years so many have been able to enjoy his insight and stories. So when he told me about the book, I was so happy for him. I can't wait to get my copy and enjoy it and tell you all more about it.
Laura took me to radiation today, only two more days left. And it can't be soon enough. I really am feeling the effects now and so I have to give in to the "gremlins" much faster these days. Still losing weight, and trying to find flavors and foods that I can keep down. Katia and Christy came by to visit and brought a wonderful Christmas box of Greater's chocolates so I am sure at least one or two of those will work. Thank you so much ladies. And I also spent some of this blog writing time chatting with another dear friend in Norway. She too will be spending a "low key" Christmas season and we wish her and her family the very best. I am truly blessed, and loved. And so are all of you!

Oh happy day! , remember that song?

The big highlight for us this weekend, finally took place Sunday night when our youngest daughter, Laura came home for Christmas break. Isn't she beautiful? I can hardly realize that all my great kids are over 21 now. This is her Senior Sorority picture and we are so proud of her. I put a lot of pressure on her to come home unintentionally and realize it was mostly because of this cancer thing. I'm reading, praying and sharing with wise friends about my unknown future and I do realize how every day is a gamble as well as a blessing. What I didn't realize is how much I would like to just take my whole life and box it right up in front of me so that I could touch it all at the same time. Remember it all, talk to everyone, laugh about it all just have everyone that matters right inside my grasp whenever I wanted. Pretty impossible I guess. But a wish just the same. I have become pretty greedy lately for the good feelings of being loved and cared for and pretty darn lucky that they come every day. Today we were reminded of another wonderful friend and someone very loved that is no longer here. Even that memory embraced us and brought tremendous good. Thank you Matt. Monday I start my last three days of radiation and then I'm off till Jan. 8th when round 3 of Chemo starts. Do I hurt, yes, am I frustrated, yes, am I loved, yes, am I blessed, yes again, am I eating an orange popsicle, yes, ahh, it feels really good to be on the winning side. God bless you all, you are loved too.

Taste buds win over evening gremlins!

This picture isn't going to mean much to any of you unless I tell a little holiday story first. And you know how I love to tell stories. There once lived a happy little family in Goerwihl Germany, a small peaceful happy town in south west Germany with a population of only around 400 peaceful loving people. This family had two daughters, twins to be exact. Last year one twin, Nadine, ventured off to America, Cincinnati to be exact, while Sabrina, the other twin, stayed home to bake Christmas cakes, which seemed, by the way, to be her specialty. When the holidays came Sabrina worked hard and long over the earthen oven to create her special Christmas delicacies. Her real challenge was how to package up a box of them and send them as a special gift for ME. Now as you can see in the picture, these cakes are a flat bread covered in chocolate and sliced into delicious strips. Last year when my package of treats arrived it seemed that transportation, vibration and cruel handling had turned them into a can of mush, millions of little crumbs that once were those delectable treats you see in the picture above. Well, not to be defeated, we smushed them together in little balls and enjoyed them anyway because Nadine had told us that Sabrina was a marvelous Christmas Cake maker. And we were not disappointed. Later that year, Nadine unfortunately left Cincinnati to return to her little village in Germany to help Sabrina make Christmas Cakes for this year. Now to the present. Today was a day that I was going to have to admit defeat to the "side effect" gremlins. Yes, I didn't want to, but they were just at their peak Saturday and I was about to concede a win to them when the postal truck drove up and handed me a big box from, YES you guessed it, Goerwihl Germany. Ahh, I knew without opening it what had to be inside. I ripped at the paper covering frantically with excited and anticipation, only to expose a box. A box, I thought, a gift maybe? No Christmas Cakes? I moved to a larger table for closer examination. For a minute I was confused, bewildered, until I started to open the box. Ah, and then it began to make sense. I could see the huge effort put in to protecting the contents within the box. Slowly, very slowly, I delicately unwrapped layer upon layer of aluminum foil and padding. Each layer revealing several wonderful, intact, long slender pieces of Sabrina's Christmas Cakes. There were even complete pieces, still just as Nadine and Sabrina had cut them only days before. You could just imagine my excitement, my glee as I offered our guests a sampling of these wonderful treats. Oh yes, I forgot to mention we had guests at the time and they of course were by now wondering what the heck was wrong with this grown man? Until they tasted the contents, and then they could see for themselves. Mmmm just wonderful, fresh, tasty German Christmas delicacies just for Cindy and I. What a wonderful day! No gremlins could even have a chance yesterday afternoon. Sabrina and Nadine had saved the day! Thank you ladies. And you too Herbert and Karin for a most wonderful and thoughtful and delicious Christmas gift. So just like any good holiday tale, everyone lived happily ever after, THE END. Well, not quite, there are still lots of cakes to be eaten first. God bless you all, you are loved.

Round 2 is over!

Today was the "unplug" day for round 2 of chemotherapy. The other good thing is only 3 more days of radiation. I still am pretty lucky with the side effect gremlins doing battle. I am winning most battles and losing only a few by slim margins. I talk to others and feel very fortunate. Oh, I am sick and it is very frustrating, but each day, my "care giver extraordinaire" (that's Cindy of course), a host of good and loving visitors and helpers, warm reassuring emails and comments, and tremendous uplifting cards give me all that I need to go day by day till the end of this. Thank you all. Thanks Ken and Vicky, Dennis and Robin, and Valerie and Laura, Miguel, and Sarah, and Carrie. Each day I'm reminded of so many who have it worse than me. Each day I'm reminded of how lucky I am. Each day I thank God for my blessings. Each day I forget to thank Cindy. The one person who doesn't have a choice here. And who just keeps trying to figure out what comes next for us. The next time you see her, please give her a hug! I love her! I am blessed having her, I love all of you, God bless you all!

Who likes GOETTA?

My day started so great that I couldn't end it without sharing some of it with all of you. Even if my desire to eat or appetite is gone, my life will always be molded by food. Jim and I went to my friend Kevin Foster's restaurant in Blue Ash for breakfast yesterday after radiation and we both couldn't wait to enjoy a delicious Goetta omelet. Ah Goetta, what a great Cincinnati taste. The rest of the day if I mentioned Goetta, I just got blank stares so I decided to educate everyone. Here is the official description of Goetta.

Goetta is a regional food found in Cincinnati, Ohio, and the greater Cincinnati metro area including Northern Kentucky. It is primarily composed of ground pork, beef, onion, sage, salt, pepper and oats. Pronounced ged-da or get-uh [(Americanized Pronunciation)], this dish originates from German settlers from Oldenburg, Hannover, and Westphalia who immigrated to the Cincinnati area in the 19th century. The word "Goetta" comes from the Low German word "gotte".

Okay, so now you all know that Cincinnati originals don't just include Graeters, or Skyline, or French Chew, all of which are delicious of course, but there is GOETTA too. If any of you want to experience Goetta for the first time or just enjoy it again, give me a call.

The rest of my day unfortunately went down hill as usual with the pain and the woozie gremlins batling in full force. Again, if it wasn't for surprise communications with good and careing friends, the gremlins would have won. Thank you Jim, Sarah, SF, Anne, Nina Toly and Mike.

And now to share a funny! We loved it, sure hope the link works.

www.marcoufamily.com/humor/bird.wmv

Last day of round 2 Chemo today until January 8th. Thanks to all my drivers for getting me there each day and the great conversation. It appears I won't be getting any more radiation so my need for drivers daily will stop but I'll do my best to dream up ways to continue to rely on many of you. You are loved. God bless you all.

Thank God for people!

I got up yesterday realizing the books are right about every day being different and unpredictable with Chemo and radiation. Round two for me is starting to introduce me to new feelings that I don't care for. But thanks to the simple pleasure of people and friendship, I was distracted enough spending the morning with Shirley that I was able to take my short walk home from McDonald's and feeling pretty good. Later that day when the pain cycle was trying to win again I enjoyed a very pleasant fromt porch conversation with my neighbor Tom. Again, distraction comes to my rescue. A couple of hours later, with misery winning the battle again, ah the doorbell. My first milkshake this week walks in dragging Ellie, one of God's finest young people, and three more delightful young ladies who brought me international goodies they had created, along with cards love and laughter. Then back to the gremlins trying to rearrange my insides for a couple of hours when Cindy and I discovered that a contact from a national EC support group that she had randomly written to, actually lives in Cincinnati, has practically the same condition as me, same age, getting almost identical treatment and from the same doctor. God continues to amaze me! So what these ramblings are trying to say is that "things" made me feel bad and beaten most of the day but "people" brought me through it. Without knowing, or purposely trying to change anything, people can have that much effect on someone's day. I always liked Pastor Tom's challenge to all of us at the conclusion of each Sunday service, when he would say, "Remember, you might be the only Jesus someone sees today". And to think, I saw 7 or 8 today. The picture above is added because it just tickles my heart so much to see it. It is the children of the Nightingale family in their holiday photo, but with one new additon this year, Tina. Tina is here for the school year from Germany and is herself, an only child. Now she is forever part of a loving family with 6 new sisters and a brother. Just a simple example of why Cindy and I do what we do. It's all about "People", pay attention to the people, talk to one, hug one, care for one, laugh with one, share with one, trust one, but most importantly, love them all! I am truly blessed.

The Results are in!

You know how it is when you see doctors, get xrays or scans and you never get to see the actual pictures? Well Cindy and I asked to see the brain MRI and the doctor just emailed it to me so I thought I would share it with all of you. It is quite graphic so those that are squeamish might want to turn off their monitors.

Who says I can't take a joke. This belly bouncer compliments of my adult daughter and colleagues who are supposed to be teaching our kids. Thanks ladies, this was a real hoot!

Today started just great and I had a wonderful lunch with three very special people in my life, one that I hadn't seen in a long time. Thank you Lynn, Keena and Kara, it was really good to spend time with you. Unfortunately Mr. Chemo had other plans for the rest of the day so I couldn't wait to it was over. Cindy set up the laptop close to me and for as long as I could take it, she researched and read about cancer types, clinical trials, alternative treatments and a huge amount of excellent information to make us more aware of all of this. Then I just had to give up and hit the sack. Ah, but now I'm enjoying my popsicle, the pill has kicked in and I am just sitting here chuckling in peace. I am truly blessed.

A No-brain'r and Super sleuth

Monday was full of good news and fun. Today's title gives two clues to the the highlights. Let's start with the "No brain'r". The Radiation doctor had the MRI results of the brain and just as Cindy and my kids have always suggested, Doc smiled and said "Well, I'm really happy, there's nothing up there". I really don't think the doctor knew how much we waited to hear that news. I dreaded hearing anything but that. We both let out a sigh of relief when she read the report that no cancer existed in the head. Now I'll have to spend time defending that the pictured space did at least include an impressive mass of brain and not just emptiness. Doc also explained that these 25 days of radiation are at the maximum dose one can get and on the 22nd I will be done with radiation for good. There is a slight possibility of internal radiation treatment later but that is just a possibility. Her basic plan is that the Chemotherapy will do the rest.. After that news, we went to the Chemo doctor and she too had news that we didn't know. We thought that next week we would start Chemo again as the end of round ONE. We asked her about rounds and she explained that she decided to move Chemo up to today and start it for this week. So I ended up staying there all day getting the strong Sysplatin Chemo for 7 hours and then my "Chemo to Go" pump to wear all this week. She then explained that this is round TWO and she plans for FOUR rounds with the next starting on Jan 8. So now we have a better feeling for the treatment plans and how it goes. Cindy had to leave me there early to get ready for the school board meeting which she found out she must attend. So Carrie picked me up and told me about why Cindy had to attend. Turns out she was going to receive an award from the Forest Park Police Department. So the two of us killed some time with me having my last dinner for a while, since I know the Chemo kills my desire to eat. Good thinking HuH? And then we snuck over to the board meeting. Cindy received the "Good Citizen, Community Service"qward and a Forest Park Police badge and some wonderful accolades from all who spoke. A while back, when she was out on a school run, she had notice a young man attempting to get into a nearby home. She just glanced for a minute and then saw him try kicking a window and then disappear into the back door, watching him enter there. She decides to stay around for a minutes since she felt unsure of his actions and sure enough, he comes out the front door carrying a few things and heads towards the school building. Cindy by now had called the Forest Park Police and started following him. She then called the school to put them on "Lockdown" for safety since he was heading for the school. When the police arrived she signaled them and as 2 cars parked to talk to him, he took off running. Of course the four officers apprehended him as he ran across school property. It turns out he was carrying a gun he also stole from the house and that he had burglarized many homes in that area including that one more than once. Sso there she was, a hero, a "super sleuth", our very own "oscifer" Cindy. We were all very proud of her. When I think about when I first married her, this award doesn't surprise me at all. I remember saying that one quality she gleamed with was her attention to detail and follow through of the little things. For instance, I new immediately that our kids would all have good teeth because she, "not me" had the patience and care to take time with each of them every night making sure that task was done well. My style would have bee more in the line of .... Okay kids, brush those teeth". Then a simple "right dad" would have been the extent of my parenting. As I look at my wonderful adult children today, I can see so many good qualities in each of them that were seeded well by Cindy and then nurtured and molded by us both. Yes, I like to think I was helpful somewhat in that part. So tonight I'm enjoying my popsicle full of pride and will sleep much sounder knowing that right beside me is one of "Forest Park's Finest". Well, Mr. and Mrs Chemo are reminding me who is boss, so pill time, and back to sleep. The cards and blog comments were incredible as usual, thank you Jeenie for the soup, and Kristy and my dearest Maria for your comments and Jim for our chance meeting for dinner. God Bless you all, you are loved.

Another good Sunday

I'm very lucky that my mornings are my best time physically. And since Carrie was playing in the bell choir, I decided to take a chance and go to church again. All went well, the bells were superb and I do enjoy singing. That's a bigger issue since I thought from the side effect lists that I would be suffering a bit more throat issues and not be singing much. I even stayed awake through the sermon. Our Christmas padgent need a King. I was so close to volunteering. I would have had fun but I just can't trust where I will be next week, so I passed. Then Ole, a super young man from Luebeck Germany, came over and helped me start the process of Christmas decorations. He did the climbing and so now our house has at least a bit of twinkle to it. The rest of the week seems fair in temperature so I might just tackle the big outside tree. I even bought some new big and ugly "dollar store" ornaments for it. With Laura coming home, I know I can finish it if I start it and tucker out. No mail today but while I was enjoying one of the wonderful soups delivered earlier, the door bell rang and another angel appears bringing corn chowder. Can't wait till tomorrow's lunch. Thank you Carrie, thank you Ole, thank you Sandy and oh yes, thank you Rachel. I can't tell all of you enough how much your love and support matters. Cindy and I read every day from other cancer survivors about the importance and blessing of having people around you who ride out the battle with you, no matter how long it takes. I have an over abundant loving and caring group and I am truly blessed. You are all loved and appreciated. Tomorrow starts week 5 of my 6 week round "one" treatment. Things are getting a little harder but not too much. Thanks for your help, I love you all!

My new hero

Notice the time. I almost slept through the night, which wouldn't be that bad to have to write the blog in the morning. Except that I would miss out on my favorite part of the exercise and that is my POPSICLE. I can remember popsicles being important to me since memories started. As a roving military brat, our trips home were such a big deal and when there, I couldn't wait for my grandma to send me to the store for something, just anything. I was so willing because the price of my services was always a popsicle. I remember my cousin Christine so well because since I was older, I would volunteer to take all the little ones, her and her brothers, to the store for a popsicle. Of course I think tere is a dark mememory there that sometimes I got more than my share or even enjoyed the tasty treat while others did not. What a demon. Now after today, on the phone with a few cousins and feeling very re-connected to family again, I'd give anything to be up in the North Country sharing a cool icy Popsicle with them all. I just had one of those days where at 59 you feel guilty that so much time has passed and not enough of it to spread around with everyone. I miss them all and might just start to focus a bit more on getting to know them all better. My extended family is just marvelous, exchange kids and their families all over the world and for that I am truly blessed, our military friends and their families, so many of which we still stay bonded with, and just all our church and community friends who mean so much to us and are helping me get through all this. It just makes for a little nostalgic time when I think about my Mom and Dad both being from a little New Hampshire town called Berlin, one from each side of the river. Then I realize just how many aunts, uncles and cousins and their families that I have and how much their families have grown. It then becomes an honest challenge now to just rekindle many of those old popsicle driven memories and bring some of our lives closer together again. I hope this blog will help do that. Well, it is time to head back to bed. Carrie plays the bells and sings tomorrow, so my current challenge is to make it to church in the morning. God Bless you all, you are loved. Oh and a big "Thumbs Up" from Posicle Man too!

A pretty simple Friday

Friday turned out to be a day of learning. Not much happened after radiation. I walked again today from McD's and spent the rest of the day fighting new pains and frustrations. As To keep busy, I did some research and so did Cindy and I learned a lot about this particular mess that I'm in. Most of it was positive and encouraging. I was focusing on my current round of therapy and learned that many of the folks that have beat this thing had 5, 6, or 7 rounds of therapy. That gives me a better prospective because now I'm not putting so much pressure on this first round. Does that make sense? Cindy and I actually went out tonight together for a little shopping and dinner. Then we attempted to watch a movie and both fell asleep. That explains the early time I'm writing this and how short it's going to be because I'm too darn tired to think of anything clever to write. Again today my cards, emails, blog comments and calls were wonderful and for that I love you all. I am blessed. Nite nite.

Let it snow, let it snow , let it snow!

Oh I hated getting out of bed Thursday morning until Cindy glanced out the window and got my attention. This old New Hampshire boy took a look at that beautiful white dusting on the ground and had such a rush I think my tumor got re-oriented. I just couldn't wait to get in Jim's van. To me, snow and cold air are just so invigorating and fresh. Jim has years of experience avoiding the "others" who are the real perils of winter driving, so we had a beautiful drive to Blue Ash. No results from the brain scan yet, so everything went fast and we soon found our way to an old hanger where a group has been restoring an old B-17 found in Greenland years ago and brought here in pieces. What a marvelous job they have done and created a beautiful exhibit somewhat unknown to the public. Thanks Jim. Poor Cindy wasted most of her day downtown at the courthouse accomplishing nothing on a school case. Yesterday was a bit harder with the pain angle so I slept more than usual again. I did however read at least three of the pamphlets on cancer and chemo from my packet which was good. In reference to what they say, I think I'm pretty lucky, so keep those thoughts and prayers going everyone. I truly want to believe that any pain, ill effect, or other uncomfortable situation that I don't get to experience is due to your prayers and encouragement. Wonderful cards, emails and calls again yesterday made the rest of the day so much better. One in particular from a special hairy faced smoothy kind of character, was simply one of the nicest emails I think I have ever received. What a blessing you all are. God Bless you all, you are loved.

Wednesday wonders!

My last posting was short and off schedule because Cindy and I had to get up at "0 dark early" for my brain MRI in the morning. I dreaded the "tube" as a confirmed claustrophobic but closing the eyes immediately got me through the 30 minutes of magnetic noises. Then off to McDonald's for some early morning coffee and chat with my wife until it was time for her to drop me at radiation. Then my friend John picked me up and gave me a little lesson in "Ducks". We stopped to observe a number of species gathered in a local settling pond at Winton Woods. One thing for sure, these radiation trips are certainly educating me. Today Jim and I are stopping by an old airport hanger to check out a salvaged B-17 in restoration. Anyway, I let John drop me off again at the Finneytown McDonald's for some more coffee and a a walk home. (It ain't workin) But I am enjoying the exercise and actually feel better when I get it. Spent some time looking up medical information and terms and quit that quickly. Just to hard to follow or spell all the jargon. Speaking of spelling, how about this. "Cancer", spelled CAN CER, seems to me an inappropriately spelled word. Almost a positive spelling you might say. I think a better way would be CANT CER, sounds the same when you say it, with a much more appropriate negative spelling mix. What do you think? Might send this on to the Webster people. The rest of the day I spent again reading wonderful cards, chatting with some incredibly mature young people in Europe. One in particular, Ruben, an Italian boy who was here last year, just gave me the most inspirational encouragement about the day to day battle, and I was truly moved and amazed. It's just wonderful being supported by so many. Keep those cards and emails coming. Our focus for a while will be to get a nice big NEGATIVE result from the brain scan. I told Laura that they will probably use my pictures in the next editions of the medical text books. God bless you all. You are loved.

What a different day.

I sure as heck wanted to try to focus on something else on Tuesday. After my quick radiation ttreatment I had Jim drop me off at McDonald's and I planned on walking home to get some exercise. I'm starting to miss the fresh air and figured I better get some while I can. So after a couple cups of hot coffee, I headed out for home. A short way up the road I realized I was walking past the Johnson home where I remembered Joe had just had a hip replacement and decided to go knock on the door. At that moment I had this crazy thought that the poor guy might not be able to open the door and here I am ringing it. But he did open it and we had a really nice visit. He's doing pretty good on his recovery path. Then on I went towards home and came upon one of these big truck outfits that puts this crazy plastic hose pipe into old sewer pipes and it hardens and becomes a new pipe. It was quite an operation and I stood in awe just like a little kid. Then a guy came over and I figured he was going to tell me to get lost, but he just started explaining the process and pointed out that down the road is where the pipe would come out and how it works. Well it was so interesting that I went to the next station and then to the end and watched it through through the entire process. Three hours later I showed up at home. Well the good thing is that I realized how good I felt and how long I lasted being focused on something else other than this stupid cancer. I guess it is like anything else, if we focus on good things, the bad ones seem to not be so bad. Worked for me. Now I also know everything about Instifoam sewer linings, ha ha. Another batch of beautiful cards and notes and visits ended my long day. Oh yes, I can't forget to mention my neighbor Jan's yummy coffee cake he made. Thank you neighbor. It is just so great to have people care. God bless you all.

Mondays are always odd!

Monday just seemed to be filled with things that didn't want to be mundane. First my 15 minute radiation treatment turned into 2 hours. Seemed they were behind when I got there and then it was my day to see the doctor and since I mentioned some moderate dizziness and a slight shake in my left hand, bingo, that got me scheduled for an extra MRI this week. I did say that they were aggressive. Mid day was pretty normal and then our evening was a bit sad. Nina moved over to the Gummere home and Cindy and I realized how much we will miss her. Fortunately she is only a block away and can still come help me put up my Christmas decorations and have some "Pudding", now and forever pronounced, "PUD" as in "MUD" ing. With the expected chaos around here as I enter the not so pretty phase of radiation and chemo, we all agreed it was more comfortable for Nina, so she is looking forward to her new family and friendships, but we will miss her here too. The day also was an exceptional "beautiful card" day. Thank you all for keeping the cards and encouragements coming. They are certainly appreciated. You are loved. God bless you all.

A Sunday full of good moments

Sunday was a stellar day in most respects. And even in the war of "C cells" it wasn't too too bad.
I ventured to church, figuring I could make it since it was about the same time frame as my daily radiation trips and in the best part of the day. It also was Communion day and that made me want to go. It was awkward, and I tried to go unnoticed, but when the pastor welcomed me back in his opening remarks, I once again realized that I am loved and thought of often. At an EF meeting at Cathy's that afternoon, I found out two other IEC's have won personal cancer battles. I enjoyed being up and a part of my routine again. Then our last official dinner with Nina, since she is off to the Gummere home, was of course ... LaRosa's. She is so much fun and we just love her. We will miss having her around the house and hope she understands our reasoning for her moving, a difficult choice for sure. With so many little tender moments like Cindy reading to me, or reading wonderful cards from caring friends, the day gave me many, yet one of my favorites was in church with my oldest daughter's head laying on my shoulder. It's funny how the littlest things make such big impacts. So now I take all these warm and fuzzy feelings and head into what is said to be the first "hard" week of radiation. Heck, I'm ready. I already have two milkshakes in the freezer and a hint that at least two more will show up this week. Reminds me of an old song, "Shake, battle and radiate" or something like that.
I also read a new quote today from the late Father Jim Willig, that I really liked and will work on. "I don't know what my future holds, but I do know who is holding it" May He bless each and every one of you.

Learned something about fatigue.

The radiation folks keep letting me know that fatigue will be one of the biggest side effects. It's true. It's also very frustrating. Yea, I know it is necessary because the body is being worked pretty hard by the radiation, but you get tired of being tired. Yesterday I lost the battle all day to "sleepyhead" gremlin. Today a dear friend shared a book he was reading and a few theory's about resting. To sum up what I got out of it was, when a person sits and rests, most of the time our minds don't. We sit to slow down, or catch a break of peace and we keep thinking. Thinking of this and of that, of what's to be done, yesterdays problems, today's woes, or tomorrows surprises. Then Bernie shared a Christian theory of resting the mind. Allowing yourself to be tired, to stop thinking and try to just be aware of the presence of God. Try to focus on the sounds, the peace or whatever is surrounds you and see if you can just grasp on to those thoughts that help you become aware of God's presence in your life. It sounded like a challenge to me, but one worth trying. Since I have plenty of opportunity each day to deal with the "sleepyhead" gremlin, I do believe I'm going to try this out. Wish me luck and God bless you all. And yes, that's an old picture of Dreamer. Gee we miss her!

Doctor Day

After my marvelous day yesterday, I was wondering what Friday would bring. I had forgotten that Friday was Doctor day at radiation. Of course you can understand that I competed with them in sharing information. They got a big kick out of my front yard band concert and trip to the ice cream factory. Turns out that one of them lives in our neighborhood and one in Wyoming. My "Potential Host Family" radar went off right away. The basic report was that I was doing pretty good so far but that next week should be when the radiation gremlins will be showing their ugly faces. I must comment on what a wonderful, compassionate, and caring bunch of people work there. I hope they all realize that their behavior plays a key role in the patient's day to day battle. The rest of the day was a blur. I could not keep my eyes open. I slept away the day and then went to bed early. Except for my dear friend Paul bringing a tasty milk shake and a few friends calling for an update, which I love, by the way, most of the day took place behind my eyelids. I just felt "cruddy" with very little energy to fight it. And cold, man did it get cold. We dropped 30 degrees in 12 hours here and lost 3 big tree branches from the wind. I think more of us should have joined Paul, Maryann, Tina, Ole, Sebastian and Kristine down in Miami. Oh yes, I almost forgot. The WWHS Honor Roll came out and all four girls, Nina, Kristine, Tina and Katerin were on it. I haven't seen the other school lists yet but I suspect that many more of our 12 kids will make it. It maces us very proud of all of them. And now I'll end today's review and look forward to a weekend with my eyes open more so that I can see clearly all the blessings I have around me. And maybe even get a few little projects done. Motivation is low right now and needs a boost. One day at a time, I know. God Bless you all!

Nothing better than "live music"

Well first, I must apologize for missing a few days. I was shocked at how many people let me know I was slippin!. I honestly didn't realize how many are reading these. What a thrill for me to find that out. So here I am back on my normal middle of the night, popsicle-pill break and back to bloggin. I am off the Chemo till Dec 18 and it made a few changes to my physical routine by giving me a false sense of stamina. I started staying up later like the old days and it threw me off. After a couple of nights of waking up at 4, asleep on the basement couch, with my body screaming obscenities at me, I learned my lesson. So last night, I didn't fight it and went to bed when when the first signal came. I am feeling a little better in some areas from the lack of Chemo and a bit rough in some new areas from the radiation. They say that the radiation effects will show up later so we will see. Okay, now for my blog title for today. As a music lover, band parent and music groupie for many years, I always could be heard saying, "There is nothing better than "live" music." Today I found out that I was wrong. What is better than "live music" is "live music" in your own front yard being played just for you. Absolutely incredible! I'm in the basement watching the end of a good movie and I hear this resonance and hint of thunder and run upstairs and outside just in time to see the Winton Woods High School Marching Band turning left and lining up in my front yard to play a musical "get well" card just for me. I can't easily explain the thrill, but I can share the emotions. My heart burst with love and admiration for each kid standing there and tears took command as I realized they did this for me. Thank you Dani and Kim and Ari and Dana and all of you for one of the biggest thrills of my life. In the morning, ater radiation, Jim and I took a side trip to visit his good friend, Jimmy Aglemesis, the owner of Aglimesis Brotheer's Ice Cream and I watched them make some of the incredible treats and candies they have sold here in Cincinnati since 1912. And of course the trip did end with a wonderful chocolate milk shake for the road. Thanks Jim and Jimmy. I continue to get great cards in the mail and wonderful emails and calls from so many of you and I just again have to say how uplifting that is for me. Tonight I heard from a Norwegian movie star and I can't tell you how wonderful that was. It was a grand day for sure. Say a little prayer for Nina, she isn't feeling very good right now either. Nurse Cindy is taking good care of her. She really just needs some green vegetables!! Right Nina? Okay, the body says I'm done. I figure Friday certainly is destined to be a bit boring relative to the excitement of today. As always, we take them one at a tie and enjoy them to the fullest. God bless you all!